Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Remembering Joan Hayes

It hurts, friends. It hurts so much. Losing a friend is never easy. It shouldn't be. Friends impact our lives in countless ways, and really great friends take a piece of our heart with them when they are gone.

I'm a better person for having known Joan Hayes. She was a wonderful friend, and she will not be forgotten.

There are so many memories. The time Joan ordered ALL THE FOODS on the Snooze menu because she couldn't narrow it down and wanted to at least taste everything. The times she refused to eat a subpar dessert because it wasn't worth the calories.

The countless times she laughed and said that fruit isn't dessert, chocolate is the only real dessert. Laughing as she confidently asked a chef if he was sure there wasn't something fabulous hiding in the kitchen that wasn't on the menu and then watching in amazement at the tray of chocolate desserts that were magically provided.

The night she said, "We should just stay up all night, we're halfway there already." Seven hours later, with blurry eyes and an aching side from hours and hours of laughter, we dropped her off at the airport.

Joan was a master at making every moment of life the best it could possibly be.

We walked up and down the beach in St. Thomas, talking about our kids, and dreams for the next few years, and the crazy world of blogging. Joan called this past year her "year of travel."

She met online friends in person and made countless new friends and memories. I'm happy that so many of us were able to hug the neck of our sweet friend and get to know her in person this year, as well as online.

The last time I saw her was in Georgia while I was visiting my family there. She drove up to Augusta, over 3 hours each way, just so that we could spend a few hours together. Not because "I" was important, but because relationships were important to her.

Joan loved spending time with friends and family and she lived her life to the fullest. She was one of the least pretentious, friendliest, and absolutely real people I've ever known.

Wandering around Augusta, GA together, we browsed antique stores looking for old silverware. Later we found a bakery to try.

She sweet talked the staff into pulling cakes out of the cold case so she could photograph them by the window and remember them to re-create the recipes at home.

Ordering a slice of every single dessert in that bakery, so she could taste each one. Laughing as we packed and took home two shopping bags full of the remaining desserts to share with my family.

Joan was an indescribably generous person. She achieved great success professionally and she shared her knowledge, her phenomenal social media reach, her blog's traffic, every aspect of her success was shared with others.

She believed with every bit of her heart that blogging should be part of a community and never a competition. She helped everyone she met and made everyone's life better just by knowing her.

Joan was the most prepared for death person I have ever known. She wanted to know that her children would be taken care of no matter what. She told everyone to "put it in writing" and "make sure everyone knows your intentions."

It breaks my heart that her message to be prepared turned out to be such practical advice instead of the hypothetical wisdom I would much rather it have been.

Her family was her world and she loved her kids so much that I ache for them right now. Joan's love of life, family, and chocolate was evident through her blog, Chocolate, Chocolate, and More.

She created a chocolate-filled legacy for her family. Her dream was that her blog would help support her family over the coming years.

Joan died of a massive heart attack in the middle of the night. She was only 49 years old. She mentioned a stomach ache before going to sleep, not recognizing this is one of the signs of a possible impending event. (Many women think they are getting the flu prior to a heart attack.)

Please read through these Heart Attack Symptoms and always get checked out if you experience any of these and share them with your friends and family.

Most importantly, go now and hug someone special to you, kids, spouse, friend, anyone. No matter what, just do it.

Wake them up, pick them up, get their attention, and tell them you love them. I'm heartsick for the loss of my friend and reminded once again that life is short.

“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

A full list of blog posts dedicated to Joan can be found here



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